Get Me To The Church On Time
"Yes, of course I’ll be there on time, honey. Have you ever known me to be late for something so important? … Okay, stupid question, granted. But this is our wedding. I wouldn’t miss it for the world. … I love you too, Red.”
Peter turned off the cell, tossing it over onto the bed as he attempted to get dressed. Today was the Big Day. As he hopped on one leg while sticking his foot into a not entirely comfortable dress shoe, he heard sirens wailing in the distance. 'It's probably just someone speeding or something, New York's finest can handle it.'
Slipping the shoe on, the web-head fell onto the bed and began buttoning up his dress shirt. Loud and all too familiar pops rang out and he furrowed his brow, trying his best to just ignore it. 'It's clearly just someone using fireworks. Yes, not guns at all. Fireworks.'
Half way through tying his bow tie, he caught sight of a gout of flame that followed a massive explosion several blocks away out of the corner of his eye. Sighing, he turned to look at a framed picture of his hopefully future wife, giving her his best apologetic smile, and grabbed up his other suit as he raced out the window. “Sorry, honey. Looks like I might be late, after all.”
"That would be a resounding yes.” She handed him a cup of coffee to try and calm his nerves.
He graciously accepted the cup, taking a sip and sighing, “Thanks, Gwen.”
Bachelor Party (Peter, Flash, Harry, Etc.)
Best friends were supposed to be insufferable and obnoxious, and Flash took his role with the utmost of responsibility. Parker was going to hate this, but it was tradition and some things were worth keeping, especially because he actually cared about that loser. It had been years since he’d tortured Parker in school, he’d changed (hopefully for the better) and had learned that actual friendship with people who were willing to put up with his bullshit for so long was something incredibly rare. There was no better way to celebrate his bro getting married to one of the most amazing women Flash had ever met than to throw him an requested bachelor party and live it up in those last few days before Pete was no longer a free man.
He called up a few friends and a few not-quite-so-friends and planned an evening that Parker probably would hate every second of, but at least wouldn’t forget. And he’d never doubt that he had friends who actually cared. Slinging a careless arm around Harry’s shoulders, he pounded on Peter’s door with a heavy fist.
"Hey Parker, open it the hell up. I know you’re home, you can’t hide forever. It’s just me and Harry, we wanted to pay our last respects before you tied the knot and MJ never let you leave the house again. C’mon man, open up before I break this door down."
"Petey, come on!" Harry chimed in, rocking back and forth on his heels. "We quite literally cannot do this without you! Open up!" He glanced up at Flash, grinning. "Y’know, we could always try climbing in the window for old time’s sake. Drag him out kicking and screaming, like we used to," he snickered.
Harry leaned against the doorframe and absently started tapping out a beat against the wood of the door. “Is that what you want, Peter? ‘cause we can make it look like a kidnapping if you’re worried about getting into trouble! Come on, it’s guy’s night! When are we going to get to do this again?”
Peter stood before the door, weighing his options. He could probably escape the apartment and avoid the pair for the night, or he could go out with them and risk getting drunk and doing something stupid, resulting in him being thrown in jail before his wedding. Sighing, the web-head rubbed his temples and gave in. His shoulders sagged with the weight of this terrible choice and he opened the door for the pair.
"Okay, fine." He rolled his eyes and smiled. All things considered, it was nice for them all to be together again. A lot of friends drifted apart after high school. Colleges, relationships, and what not were threat enough without having to throw the insanity that orbited Peter’s life into the mix. And yet, against all odds, they had managed to stick together. "Oh, I’m sure we’ll be doing this again when you get married, Harry. As for Flash, well, stranger things have happened."
Going to grab his coat, Peter turned and pointed a finger at the pair, “I don’t know what the two of you have planned for tonight, but if I end up having to be bailed out by my future wife, I will.. do something.. and it will be bad.” He narrowed his eyes, giving them his best ‘super serious’ stare down, “Like.. I’ll make sure you don’t get any wedding cake.”
"Uncle Tony passes smart ass comments sometimes, but then again he’s usually talking to JARVIS and Cap is well Cap, Thor wouldn’t know what a banter was if it hit him in the face! And the other three are well not too talkative!"
"Hmm… that is a possibility and I’m sure the rest wouldn’t mind having you."
"Eh, don’t worry about it. I’m not that old, but I’m probably old enough that I’d just cramp your style. Still, if you ever need help with something, just let me know.”
"Thats the old people talking! Have you ever heard us while we fight baddies? The Young Avengers, I mean. You have no idea how much of a ruckus we create just because of the banter. I mean the banter is half the fun of kicking ass! Take aways the banter and what do you have? The greatest catch phrases were invented due to these banters!"
"See! You kids get it, but the rest of the Avengers don’t. Quipping is an important aspect of crime-fighting! Cap and Tony are a couple of fogeys, Thor’s from a different dimension, Natasha and Clint are super serious spy-types, and the Hulk couldn’t banter his way out of a paper bag."
"… Any chance I can join the Young Avengers, instead?"
"As if the status of Doctor, or psychotic doctors in their case, isn’t enough for them. What exactly do they want? More attention? Or me thinks they just use big words to try and outsmart you. I mean you are known for all your comebacks and everything when it comes to baddies."
"Really? I thought I was known for being that guy in red and blue spandex that never shut up."
"If you say so then Peter it is. Really "Vile Arachnid" Who calls you that? I shouldn’t even complain people call me Godzilla."
"Uh, well, let’s see… Doc Ock, Doctor Doom, pretty much any villain with a Ph. D. I think they just need to prove that they’re really smart by using big words all the time."
"But it all worked out! I mean the whole thing went without a hitch and the wedding was great! Okie dokie then Mr. Parker! I won’t call you Mr. Peter!"
"Don’t call me ‘Mr. Parker’ either. Just call me Peter, or Pete, or web-head, or wall-crawler, or web-slinger, or even ‘vile arachnid’ if you’re feeling particularly evil and narcissistic."
After the last wedding I was at where the groom was a nervous wreck in the morning when I ran into him before the a ceremony I’d say yes Mr. Peter.
"Well, that makes me feel better. But don’t call me ‘Mr. Peter’. It makes me feel old.”
"Maybe it’s a sign that it’s not right and the person you were meant for has been right under your nose the whole time."
"Well, I don’t feel nervous anymore. Just nauseous."